love, mercy joy

subjective truths are not trustworthy. that's why every healthy person, as they grow, is forced to question everything they were ever "taught." we have to determine what the truth is for ourselves. i did not say, 'we have to determine our  truth.' that is one of the most unstable concepts that was ever created. there is an absolute truth about every question in life and our souls will find no rest until they discover it. the proof is in the restless searching in the core of any person who subscribes to any subjective worldview. so here is something to consider. "blood is thicker than water" is a super common quote that is used to emphasize family loyalty over everything. that is a theme for life in a lot of families and communities and cultures. i actually love it. my family are some of the coolest people i know (and isn't my little sister adorable 😍), but we never emphasized loyalty to each other over anything else. my parents simply taught us to t...

my life has consisted of intense pressure and insane goals for as long as I can remember. in january, for the first time in over 10 years, I gave myself permission to rest. I mean really rest. my body, my spirit, and my mind. I hate the culture of "self care," I think it's mostly wildly selfish and an excuse to disregard others and cancel anything you don't agree with. but I wholly support the premise...you can't pour from an empty cup and all that. so I set out to optimize me, so that I can do what I do best, better -- help others become fully themselves. it was cool for a while, beautiful in fact. one of the most incredible seasons of my entire life. staying in the most peaceful location, surrounded and smothered by a community that loves and accepts me completely. feeding my mind and spirit with books and podcasts, working out, eating clean, enjoying nature. until I started to feel nagging feelings and doubts about my lack of "accomplishing." my perso...