What's So Scary About Virginity


I've found that people have a lot to say about being a virgin, and waiting for sex until marriage...and much of it comes from fear. Isn't that just like the enemy...to rob us of the very best God has for us by deception. By getting us to think about what we might be missing. A trick as old as the garden of Eden.

"What if we're not compatible...what if I don't even like sex with him?!" "What if there's no chemistry?" "So we're supposed to learn over time but...what if it never gets better?!"

I'm almost 32 now so I get even more exciting questions...what if you never find him?? What if it's too late? Certain parts work best at certain ages...on and on lolol. 

But hey, I have a question too. What if YOU'RE all wrong?! I recently have been hearing an interesting perspective--what is marriage anyway? It's an antiquated concept. Who should be allowed to tell me that I have to have a piece of paper and stand in front of a civic or spiritual authority and be declared "legally married?" Why can't I have a commitment like that without all the formalities?

Well, what if that's not really what marriage is all about? What if it's something way more special than that, something that the devil has been attempting to downplay for centuries in order to keep people from experiencing the beauty of it, and what if even married couples are being robbed of the preciousness of a true understanding of marriage?

Eric Thomas has a famous speech called "Covenant vs. Contract." I'm not writing based off of his speech, but it does express a little of how I believe. You can view an excerpt at the bottom of this post.

See, true marriage is a covenant. A covenant and a contract are both technically agreements. However, a covenant is understood to be more of how the Oxford Dictionary describes it, "An agreement which brings about a relationship of commitment." Nowadays, people enter into a contract with the understanding that if they break it, there will be consequences. And when they decide that the consequences are less painful than keeping the terms of the contract, they are fine with breaking it. In the days that the word "covenant" was used regularly, there was no breaking the agreement. It was entered into fully understanding all of the implications, and agreeing with eyes wide open that this was it. That gave the entire situation a gravity that led to serious introspection, research, and seeking God's will.

When I get married, it's going to be forever. But it's not just about a legalistic rule that, if I break it, I will go to hell or something like that. It's way more exciting than that. I actually believe in fairy tales. Fairy tales according to the Google dictionary definition, "denoting something regarded as resembling a fairy story in being magical, idealized, or extremely happy."

I believe in fairy tales, because I believe in a good God. I believe everything he says is true. I believe everything he has promised me is meant to happen, and all of it is good. I didn't say it will be easy and nothing bad will happen, but because I know that he is good, I can trust him with the process. No matter what that looks like. I know what the end will be, and it will be victory.

This doesn't excuse me from the liability of seeking his blessing on whom I marry. I also believe in arranged marriages. I believe that the King of the universe has adopted me as a full heir to all that he possesses, and therefore I trust him to lead me to the one who is for me. That means I don't just get to "decide" someone is the One. I don't get to base my forever off of how it feels in the moment, how we connect, the chemistry, what we have in common, whether I feel treated like a princess or whether he is everyone's dream guy. Too many people know that is a recipe for failure.


What I do get to do, and I say get to, because I believe all of life is about learning to do this...I get to learn to walk as ONE with my Father, and see my future husband the way God sees him, and be united to him, at the right time, for all of time. And that...will be the ultimate climax.

Comments

Anonymous said…
This is really good Mercy!
10:32 PM
Unknown said…
I love the perspective!
7:43 PM
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