Much Love.

I just always thought this verse was talking about a prostitute.

I was reading this the other night after listening to Pastor Chris's "4 Women" (http://youtu.be/uRcziOJcyIM). I've always thought it was a beautiful verse, but I've always felt like there was more to it than what I saw.

This time, as I thought and thought, and thought, it started to hit me in a whole new way I had never ever seen.

Jesus always speaks in ways that will allow those who want to, especially "good" people, to remain comfortably deceived if they want to. To go on about their lives confident that he was speaking to the people that have the real problems. So here, it was easy for the religious leaders Jesus was speaking to, to understand his message on a surface level. 

She is an evil, sinful woman. If he could forgive her of all that wrong, which doesn't make sense anyway, then yeah, she'd better be grateful. It's not my fault that I can't appreciate his supposed "goodness" as fully. How is he any better than me? I've heard of times when he purposefully disobeyed the law! Excuse me if I remain skeptical of how he can help me?

But Jesus was never talking about the greatness of this precious woman's sin. Sin is sin to our holy Father. It is not that the prostitute sinned more...it is that her revelation of this perfect man's sacrifice for her was so massive. Maybe because her sins were so obvious, she was able to understand so much more quickly than them.

Jesus was giving his audience a chance to gain a whole new perspective. He was there to save their lives. Nothing they could do would save them. If they could only realize for how much they had been forgiven...they could open up to a whole new, ridiculous world of overwhelming, passionate, life-giving love.

How long will the Pharisees, the legalists, remain blind and deceived?

I was so proud of my goodness for so long. Grateful, yes, but glad that God didn't have to "do much" to save me. I was such a sweetheart that I never realized my pride, either! 🙃

Paul talks about that a lot. He starts in Philippians by talking about how great he always knew he was. This was me, and this was the Pharisees Jesus was talking to in this story I began this post with:

“We put no confidence in human effort, though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more! I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault." Phil 3:3-6

All of that is wonderful, but something went wrong, because in 1 Timothy he's telling a very different story!

“I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength to do his work. He considered me trustworthy and appointed me to serve him, even though I used to blaspheme the name of Christ. In my insolence, I persecuted his people. But God had mercy on me because I did it in ignorance and unbelief. Oh, how generous and gracious our Lord was! He filled me with the faith and love that come from Christ Jesus. This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. All honor and glory to God forever and ever! He is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; he alone is God. Amen.”

1 Timothy 1:12-17 NLT

All I know is that...I do not hate myself. I do not suddenly think I am a bad person. I haven't decided to start doing penance for all of the sins of my whole life.

But there is something happening in my heart. I've had many eye-opening situations over the past several years, that just showed me that I wanted to be so much more than what I was. And the harder I would try (and I don't believe in the word try, but I was trying), the more I would fail to reach that great, great mark I set for myself. I might be growing, I might be achieving, I might be "winning"...yet what I saw for myself and my life, I could never even come close to.

So I've begun to give up. And I've begun to learn how to really surrender, not just say I surrender, and I've begun to let go of my natural strength, and see what Jesus could do. And the more I do that--oh my God, he saves me from myself! It doesn't matter what the struggle is--some of the most heart-wrenching things we go through, no one has one clue of on the outside! But he's there for those too! The more I give to him, the more I realize he had saved me from it all along, and I just kept holding on with my tight little fists! 

To the ordinary people who don't even know what they're forgiven from and for--we don't have to fight for success! For provision! For recognition! For respect! We don't even have to fight for love at home! For our children! For weight loss! We don't have to fight to be beautiful! To be fit! To lead! To be a great example! We don't have to fight to not get angry! To love! To be more peaceful! He's got it all covered! Learn about this love that is so MAD FOR YOU, and watch if you don't want to show much love back!

"I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith.”

Philippians 3:3-9 NLT